The Sunlit Night (2019)

The Sunlit Night (2019) – IMDB

On the whim, I stopped watching the trailer and started to watch The Sunlit Night on Hulu. I liked it enough I thought what could go wrong? I was in the mood for something light and a little funny, random. Something indie. What starts off well for a girl who is looking for a spark of life in her paintings travels to Norway to work for a renowned painter. This is an escape from her life in the States where she was dumped, parents divorcing, lifeless paintings, and her sister getting engaged. She needs a spark. As it progressed with beautiful scenery of the great, grassy sloped mountains holding clouds at their peaks, with crashing waves all around Norway was a treat to see. I was ready to get lost in this foreign land and see what lay ahead. Too bad the story wondered off and itself got lost.

The main protagonist was such a BRAT. She’s supposed to be working for this guy she thought highly of but decides to parade around by either not listening or deciding to flirt with some guy who sold her a sandwich back home. Frances, the one we’re following around, has a rough relationship with the Norway painter. He may not be the easiest person to work with due to the deadline the painting project needs to be completed by but this isn’t some vacation. Yet Frances holds little respect for a man who even admits his wrong doing. Get the project done, sooner the better, then jump around in your naked overalls to your heart’s desire. She is entirely misguided and a total disregard for the work she sought out. There was something she mentions to sandwich boy about painting was her focus and everything else was her escape (distraction). By the end, she still seemed like the same person, no change. What she said earlier made no sense to me, I tried to, but also didn’t care enough to sit around to understand.

The Sunlit Night has some interesting characters. The initial interaction with Frances and her family were comical. Zach Galifianakis is joyful to see but wasted. Gillian Anderson a shock to see but wasted. The whole side story with sandwich boy who can twist dough I thought was pointless. The grocery girl was interesting. The painter was interesting. I had interest in the landscape and the people in it. But I got nothing from it. I would have appreciated more of a transcendental story of a woman coming to Norway, learning of the people, herself, the land, HOW TO PAINT, and close with her being a better person who has new found respect, spark for life. Instead we got this brat.

I couldn’t bring myself to care for Frances. She had careless motivation and disregard for those helping her. It was hard to believe she changed in the end. Maybe I would have cared if she did. The whole time I was waiting for some revelation, like it was trying to say more than what it was offering. I didn’t get it. If you did, please tell me, might not care but I got open ears if I missed something.

The Sunlit Night was definitely missing a stroke of life.

Planet of the Vampires (1965)

Planet of the Vampires (1965) – IMDB

Planet of the Vampires had one of the best sets. It is old and dated, but the crystalized rock formations and dehydrated looking tentacle trees with colorful hues of glowing fog and ambient lighting creates a thick atmosphere you’d need to shower your eyeballs after. This planet our fellow travelers land on isn’t what it seems, naturally. There are cool effects that experiment with the idea of landing on a foreign planet. One specific shot which is clearly taken underwater but is cool in it’s execution with plumes of smoke and dust rising around the toy ship that’s meant for a bathtub with a sandy floor. There are unnecessary set pieces that seem extra like the floor space on the bridge with enough room provided for a buffet unless you’re utilizing it for laying corpses on top of each other.

Not going to lie, the first hour or so is all mystery. It may drag a bit possibly due to it’s age of release but the story itself unfolds rather slow. Albeit, when remains of a foreign lifeform is discovered it grabbed my attention and I was in awe. It was cool seeing something like this, someone had the mindset to expand the world a little further creating something original and a sense of wonder. I think Planet of the Vampires, despite the wonderfully realized sets, is a small movie, but a big inspiration to any succeeding sci-fi flare. Alien (1979), for example, takes many notes from this flick and The Thing (1982) as well. This movie is respectable for it’s accomplishments despite it’s age. To be honest, I’d enjoy a reimagining of this story. Full of twists that I wasn’t expecting towards the end, amazing set pieces for the planet Aura, and an eye for wonder of what’s out there!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994) – IMDB

Licking. Crossdressing. Silliness. Pizza. Welcome to the weird 90’s offering of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There’s nothing painfully worthy to get in to here so I’ll make this quick. I was curious about seeing this one depending on the two leads. Every actor has one horror movie to star in, mostly at the beginning of their career, The Next Generation has two! Is worth your time and curiosity? Bottom line, no. Letting the movie sink in after a couple days, I’m realizing I wasted my time watching it and the overall experience became degraded. In fact I’m not entirely sure why this was made. It didn’t offer anything new, it was simply a rehash of the classic. What it did do was show how weird and wild southern hillybillies can be in their most crazed dysfunctional family fashion.

Leatherface appears small and like a dog complaining for a toy he can’t reach. To be screamed at with mad man wielding a chainsaw sounds terrifying when they’re grunting for action but something about this 90’s flick doesn’t cut it.

The two leads give the best performances. Unfortunately they shouldn’t be given the hillbilly script and oblivious sense of characters. They gotta start somewhere right? Renee Zellweger is the unfiltered heroine with untapped, shining light of courage to her later career highlight for me Cold Mountain. Her chemistry is cut throat and intense with Matthew McConaughey who is raw, menacing, and his on-screen presence full of demand. His crazed persona threatens the very character he lovingly portrays in any rom-com.

The two leads were the best thing about Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation. Outside of that there really isn’t anything to watch. It’s laughable with a side of eye rolling. Not gory or disturbing as you’d come to expect from this genre/franchise. Zellweger and McConaughey did great in their roles for what was given, I wouldn’t say it’s worth your curiosity though.

Pet Sematary (1989)

Pet Sematary – IMDB

Not what I expected. Hailing from 1989 this classic crawled out of the burial ground to me. Disclaimer: I find Stephen King adaptations’ goofy, cringy, and weird. However, there have been a few exceptions, most notably (to me) The Mist among other revered classics that remain popular. Other mentions include Secret Window, which is predictable but enjoyable. The other being Dreamcatcher, which has excellent moments, but falls too close to the cheesy/oddball category which is something to say since I enjoy such shortfalls and see them as positives in other flicks. Silver Bullet, for example, has some great effects including a werewolf but the enjoyment value for me is subpar and incredibly stringy cheesy. The kid is better off using rocket boosters in the final race in Little Rascals than fighting the big baddy on a bridge. The Shining is not mentioned due to the film being more of Kubrick’s interpretation. Getting off track here, King has a knack for telling the supernatural. Pet Sematary involves his all; the supernatural, the loving family, Maine, creepy person, mystery, and innocent children. To include what I have mentioned above, Pet Sematary caught me off guard. Not thirty minutes after the movie ended I am still thinking about it…more along the lines of how this movie got under my skin and how will it remain with me in the forth coming days. Let’s just say I got up shortly after the credits rolled to use the restroom, and not closing the door all the way, my dog, my lovely dog, opened the door and stares at me. I thought she rose from the grave.

The story is simple and easy to follow. Dread follows, however, with every passing scene. Definitely something in the air lingering and it’s not rotting animal corpses. It’s actually hard for me to explain the feeling of dread. Maybe it’s the neighbor across the street. Comfort of an ominous trail disappearing into the thicket. A Native American burial ground which is never meant to be messed with. But really it’s more than that, perhaps the music setting a terror vibe that etched from the tree line in to the safety of the home. Then finally, into our protagonist’s anxious but venturous mind who only wants to keep what they already have obtained, unfortunately wrongfully stolen. Yes, like always, music was key. Especially in the final act. I hear the same sounds in horror today and is still effective. Notable mention to the final walkthrough of the house sequence. To think of the synopsis of Pet Sematary it does not ring any attention bells with the exception of being a King adaptation and a classic. In regard to my already premature expectation of anything King, including my forgetful thrill of seeing this many years ago yet under irresponsible substance usage, I did enjoy Pet Sematary.

And now, without further ado, my qualms. Everything was found forgiven till the final act. Which got messy. I don’t want to spoil anything per usual but I must make it said. Like King, things got a little…cheeky. I do not find children scary, they are more of a nuisance when utilized as a scare tactic. This is a gimmick and I don’t agree with the popular opinion they are scary. Sinister for example, which one day I hope to formulate words about on this site sometime, tried to make them scary. Punch them. This would happen to be my biggest criticism. Not fair? Jud didn’t think so either.

All in all, this is what I took away from it: Pet Sematary made me cringe but in a gross way. It got me spooked and care for the family. It made me pet my dog and want to look out for my future children. And sometimes dead is better, but also look out for the high road.

Hot Rod (2007)

Hot Rod (2007) – IMDB

Hot Rod. The humor is more deadpan than Audrey Plaza’s face. It has more expressions than any Adam Sandler flick. More chaos than being married to Satan. If Napolean Dynamite rode a pedaled motorbike instead of a horse and cranked everything to eleven, you got yourself a ticket to Hot Rod. With a heart for the 80s and a mind as random as a nonsensical totem fox on crack, Hot Rod delivers on multiple ultimate punches.

One day I was in a middle of a conversation with a friend and his girl. She was foreign and had seen Hot Rod and expressed she did not like it, stated it was too American. I wondered if perhaps some people don’t understand the humor. Or maybe they do and don’t care. It’s all cool beans.

On my latest viewing of Hot Rod I got the idea it was an 80s flick trying to break out. But was trapped in it’s own confines by being too similar to any other 80s nostalgia becoming it’s own classic by trying too hard. The result being utterly hilarious. A hormone disordered man trying to win respect of his step father. A simple thought turned to a riotous time of random, off-beat banter and slapstick humor too painfully funny for it’s own good. In a way, it’s a love letter and parody of some flick from the 80s.

I wonder how many takes it took to complete a single scene. Sometimes the idea is so off the wall I don’t have any idea how they kept a straight face. The story is just a ploy for Andy Samberg and crew to go off on their incoherent madness. From mimicking a bell by the pool to pronouncing the “h” in whords that start with “w.” It’s hard to keep up with the absurd jokes and antics through the first watch, they’re too legit to quit.

And by the end, Hot Rod delivers the ultimate blow to the digestive system. Cool Beans.

Her (2013)

Her (2013) – IMDB

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An overwhelming feeling of love. Soft colors stitched into every frame like a quilted labor of love wrapping you with indefinite warmth. Her is an honest portrayal of an emotionally isolated man who finds solace in a computer programming software called OS. In the midst of a divorce, Theodore is having trouble with the confrontational reality of relationships. Promiscuous late night chats with strangers for a quick fix turn awkward and leave a hole Theodore so long desires to be filled. With a turn of chance, he meets a highly-intelligent OS aptly named Samantha. Her sultry voice is soothing to the ear, having me fall in love already.

What makes Her so intense is this finding of love and the excitement once we have found it; the passerby’s momentary interaction in life but seems they can’t fulfill the selfish needs and wants of our physical human box. Those close to us and keep at a distance perhaps of the fear of realizing how real it could be – or if it’s what we really want, and if it was, how it would hurt losing if we were so able to obtain it. Theodore finds ease with his computer counterpart. Samantha becomes this real person we begin to feel thanks to Spike Jonze’s honest and sensible writing. The two bond. Theodore loves the way Samantha brings this new excitement of life and curiosity to his personal life. His loneliness is conquered. Their pillow talks are free and full of humility. His walks, gratified by the pleasure of her voice in his ear and humorous point of views.

With videogames becoming more interactive and setting a broader detachment of this reality, only making things easier for Theodore to form an attachment with a computer. Both put in effort for their relationship, and to great lengths within their capabilities. From acquiring a body to a thing as little as a safety pin. An idea so ridiculous if made fifty years ago. That would just be scandalous and oppose the social norm. But now, Her shows the potential of what is to come and also the boundless form of love. Virtual reality is just another medium love will pour in to. However, everything is brief. We are momentary and encounter our own personal evolution. It’s all up to how you want to do it.

I love the fact you only know the setting is in the near future without any specific dates, and the location appears to have a vague but collective fingerprint. And the high waisted clothing is like a knock off brand of 1950s nostalgia. With Theodore usually sporting a vivid red shirt displaying his vulnerable and sensible side. The music is dreamy and creates an ambience that compliments the diverse color palette, making the viewing a soft clutch of emotions. Her leaves you feeling blanketed and ready for spooning after a heavy fight.

Special mention to the coolest elevator.

One Cut of the Dead (2017)

One Cut of the Dead (2017) – IMDB

One Cut of the Dead - PosterSpy

A very fresh take on a tried and heavily explored genre. One Cut of the Dead doesn’t just impress but enlightens us there is more to offer in this addition to the ever-hungry zombie filmography.

The plot is a simple one: a director wants to shoot a low budget zombie movie when real zombies appear on the scene. All fashionably done in one cheesy cut. I’m a modest man who begs you to stay past the thirty minute mark and endure the shabby introduction. One Cut of the Dead is one of the most rewarding movie experiences I’ve had. Sitting there with a slight grin on my face as the absurdity unfolded. The movie is funny, self aware, heartwarming, and creative. You can tell it was handled with care and from people who loves not only the genre, but movies in general. I can only imagine the crew having an enjoyable time off screen.

One-Cut-of-the-Dead | The Kim Newman Web Site

This one took me by surprise. Not at all what I was expecting and very glad I watched it. One of those movies you’d be hard pressed to search for. The last act is so humorous it gives a whole new meaning on a second viewing. I’m saying this with the little knowledge I had before going in, knowing only the straight forward synopsis. Take what you will from my words but have your own expectations. It’s a good time. One Cut of the Dead is a fresh and original take away from the mouth watering limpers that crowd our screen. POM!

Special note: It took 2 days and 6 takes to get the perfect cut and the film took $25,000 to be made!

Turbo (2013)

Turbo (2013) – IMDB

I originally wrote this off as any other family movie to be released at the time: a filler to occupy time till something better comes along. What is interesting about a snail that goes fast? Sounds like a topic of conversion from the minds of stoners sitting poolside after a day of rain, watching slugs traverse aimlessly among the wet concrete. Well, it wasn’t until a few nights ago a mood struck me for something fun and I had to watch it.

Turbo opens up with your expected slug jokes and an introduction to the slow critters’ mundane but organized life within a homely garden. Which was fully realized and inventive, reminiscent of PIXAR’s A Bug’s Life in how they work together and function within an oversized realty of vegetation. One anti-salt mollusk has a dream of his own outside the limits of the adjacent sidewalk. And it doesn’t involve following in uniform with the rest of the gastropods, fiending for the next tomato or avoid being plucked by the next crow. This little guy wants to RACE. Be fast like his Italian race icon, Guy Gagne. Our little dreamer, Turbo, wants to reach past his limits, not be prisoned by his limited capacities.

Not without the help of a friendly substance called NOS.

The message of the movie is clear and not muddied by presentation. Challenge yourself to new abilities, reach new heights, but also know what is realistic and imaginary. If you have a dream, go for it, even if someone doesn’t believe in you. And Turbo does all this without being preachy. I wonder if this includes consuming substances to transcend your limitations and enhance your physical capabilities? Maybe I’m digging too much… Crawling forward, it’s rather entertaining and enjoyable to watch the absurdity of a snail racer and taco man team up to win the Indy 500.

A small mention to the voice acting which isn’t just an all star cast selling the movie, they all fit respectively, even Ken Jeong who made me laugh more than once.

I’m happy to find the music is not slimed by today’s music but brings back the old making Turbo feel right at home and more appealing.

Turbo was a nice little movie I could watch again. The message is important without it being overstated about reaching your goals and going past the limit. A fun movie I think will slip by as more movies race to the screen. Not a necessary watch but an entertaining one especially if this is what you’re looking for.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Alien: Covenant – IMDB

 

alien Covenant

 

As a fan of this beloved series, I read articles, watched interviews, and looked out for the anticipated teaser trailer released last Christmas. My hopes couldn’t have been higher. A return to the dark and dangerous universe of Alien. Prometheus opened a whole new world for us to explore and upon initial viewing I loved it, then hated it, then as time passed it grew on me and I have accepted it for being a stand alone film and an unique entry in to the franchise. With that being said, there was a lot to be expected from Ridley Scott taking yet another lead in the xenomorph franchise. And then finally, FINALLY. A full red band trailer was released. I watched. As the trailer for Alien: Covenant burst from its organic egg shell, revealing it’s gooey innards. I couldn’t help but be exposed to the spoilers on screen as one colonist after another were dying showcasing their deaths to entice and scare viewers demanding it’s attention. AND THEN, my questioning began, “Is this really going to be good, it looks like Alien? Should I lower my bar of expectations? Is this the sequel we deserve?”

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I see nothing but death.

I believe Ridley Scott listened to those shouting and screaming Alien fans and their hatred for Prometheus without consideration of those who spoke softly for their love of a film that took a risk in a new direction. Scott himself wanted to create something new that centered around creation and a story that provoked the thought of origins for life. And not just any life, but birth of the hissing xenomorph. I understood Prometheus was set in the same universe but placed far before the original. And it was this movie that many were apparently down right upset about. Movies age like wine, many show their true colors and morph into something flavorful later on down the road. The tick with this film is Scott took a chunk of Alien and a spice of Prometheus. When instead it should have been vice versa. It felt like he wanted to please the audience and new comers with an over cooked monster and playing it safe. When, in fact, I would have chosen the risky route. Continue Prometheus mission.

This is the biggest fault of the film. Alien: Covenant wanted to spring into an Alien movie so badly it left many ingredients that made it’s predecessor stand alone. There’s reviews that could go on about what Prometheus did wrong and what not. Yea, yea, we know. A great sequel would add to the first’s mystery, answer questions and then some. Frankly, the sequel does not. You want to know if Shaw gets any of her questions answered? Who cares. Want to know any more about the Engineers? Nah, irrelevant, they’re just a plot device. Alien: Covenant moves forward in a storm abandoning almost everything behind. Leaving a mess of a film.

There are good points in the movie and I will say it definitely is not a waste of time. By far my favorite is watching the androids, Walter and David, both played by the magnificent Michael Fassbender, interact with one another. Their conversations and differences make some compelling dialogue. They are by far the best part of the film. David is becoming more of a solid character in the franchise as Ripley. It’s exciting to think about. **Spoiler** Seeing as David’s relationship with Weyland is submissive in the the shadow of his creator, David holds the ability to create, and to create he does. The perfect being. And this is justified (if not hard to swallow) in the beginning  when Weyland talks to David on his initial creation. This bit I loved. Discussion of art, creation, and Gods. It is what is expected of a Prometheus sequel.

Androids were not the only ones who were good, those looking for a more serious role for Danny Mcbride actually has a good standing here. It was a pleasure to see him on screen and provide a drop of comical relief and play a driven husband to the end. A part I was looking forward to. And Katherine Waterston who played the down beat Daniels. She did good but nothing to stand out or even complain. She is in grief of losing her husband so her character hardly has an uplifting moment. With that to say the movie as a whole is quite atmospheric and despairing.

In relation to the other characters I really wish they were more fleshed out. Especially Oram and Karine. This couple could of had some deep conversations. Oram (Billy Crudup) could have used a lot more text and background on why and how he is religious. I think personally he is the most interesting character besides David. With Shaw out of the picture, Oram could have real conversations with David. If not him, Daniels or Tennessee about the future humankind’s path is set on or the Engineers’ purpose. Potential once again lost. Oram is just another guy with faith providing no meaning or value to his own asset to the story of origins. Like the trailer,  Alien: Covenant provided  meaningless scares and predictable deaths. There’s no exaggeration. The deaths are predictable, good acting, but predictable, signing on a new cast dying for a paycheck.

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Some effects I enjoyed but couldn’t help but feel it was a slight downgrade from Prometheus. Times I felt practical effects could have been used but weren’t. i.e. animatronics. The aliens themselves are creepy. Mainly the new one, the neomorph. The original isn’t welcomed like an old friend coming home. Not that it should as it’s history in terrorizing the screen for the past 30 years. We all know what you’re capable of alien, step aside. The neomorph is here and shows it’s origins but where is it on the scale of the Engineers’ existence? Where does it stand? We still know little about the goo from the previous movie. Why couldn’t we just get proper sequel instead of an Alien prequel? You are draining this series dry, Ridley Scott.

The music itself is terrific. With moments calling back to Alien and Prometheus scores gives a hybrid vibe of the universe that’s currently existing and was happy to hear. The additional music was also good, emanating a dark ominous howl. Creating a subtle hint of intense terror that’s not exploding in your face.

It’s interesting to see where the franchise is going.  Not to be sexist but I was hoping not another heroine in this picture. But it’s not all we got. And I hope she isn’t the only one. We’ve had a Ripley. Please, present something new. And try not to kill everyone in the opening credits, so learn from the mistakes. If by chance Scott listens and isn’t a crazed old man looking for a come back and says “F***  it this is how the story is gonna be” we can fix this average film into what the franchise needs: back to answering and asking questions Prometheus introduced. We’ve had our Alien films, bring us something else. Tease us with Alien, give us Engineers and a space to explore with new findings. Our minds are bigger than this. What is life without expanding our boundaries? It’ll be hard to trek back around this film and find our footing once again. Maybe in time this will grow but who knows. We still have stupid characters and a lazy, messy plot that wants to entertain with the occasional questionable dialogue.

I saw a lot of promise when John Logan was attached (creator/writer of Penny Dreadful, writer of Gladiator). We’ll see where this takes us. Scott proclaims at this moment that the series is pinned for an additional three movies that lead up to the original Alien. Anything could happen. Am I worried? At this point, yea, I am. A Prometheus like sequel will be welcomed. Scott needs to figure out his vision for the future of the franchise. Do I still look forward to the next entry? Hell yea, I do. However, we need innovative ideas. It’s time for the reigns to be passed on Ridley Scott. If you need attention, get a dog.

In the end, I liked the movie. Since Aliens no Alien movie has been perfect. Close calls but no perfect specimen. If Scott plans to release these next few additions then he needs to find that vision and stick to it. Pleasing the audience with a cooked monster will do nothing. Possibly the goriest entry along with Alien Resurrection, we need more than shock and fright. Story much? Missing the chemistry David and Shaw had we can only look forward now after a grim experimentation. One can hope for the director’s cut. As I and fans alike look for the missing parts not already integrated into a film we anticipated for.

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Sphere (1998)

Sphere (1998)

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What is it you fear? Do you fear your nightmares? Do you fear alien life? Michael Crichton is a terrific author. He has treated readers worldwide with stories that provoke the mind with thrilling entertainment. Stories such as Jurassic Park, Timeline, and Andromeda Strain shows us Crichton has quite a knack for storytelling. However I myself have not read a few of these including Sphere itself. I understand it was a mind bending thriller, no doubt, but did the movie live up to the expectations of Michael Crichton’s handy writing? I’m afraid not. Sphere starts out really well, then somehow rolls down hill. Then up again, then levels out, then down again. It’s a twirl down from a great hook then all is left is pressurized frustration on what is going on and where the story has gone.

This review would be more knowledgeable if I had read the book myself, one day I will. Because after this, I felt my time was wasted. Everything that lead up to it’s end point fizzled flat. I give huge credit to start, though. About the first half its a perfect popcorn flick. You are laughing at the jokes, asking same questions as the main characters were asking, and feeling drawn in on the suspenseful moments. It’s a perfect set up because you have a mix of The Abyss and Alien where a team is assembled and they must venture somewhere into the unknown, facing something foreign; alien. Sphere, for a moment, even feels like a horror. But the weird begins to happen and you start having withdrawals. What am I getting myself into? I certainly was not expecting that to happen. One action leaves to another. Questions seem to skip the answers and you forget totally about them. This creates plot holes galore.Like key subjects that I believed were crucial to the story manifesting a truly thought provoking thriller. Including loop holes that don’t make sense despite the bizarre circumstances. Instead, Sphere dives deep into the weird leaving nothing but vast pockets of nothingness floating abundantly. I think the movie could have made a 90 degree turn, perhaps even a 180, creating something special.

This was something truly unique. It had potential to be an underrated masterpiece or a down right classic reminiscent of Jurassic Park’s success. I’ll give it that, Sphere will keep you totally engaged. Something was always happening. The dialogue was never dumb, I actually paid attention to each characters’ contribution. I thoroughly enjoyed some of the discussions the main protagonists were having and fit the movie perfectly. Acting was even decent to say the least. The budget is there to support the film giving a glipse of a scientist’s expedition underwater would be like. 

The movie moves so fast forward though to the next event, you almost forget some key plot points that previously happened. I love movies that make me think and even ones that are open ended for discussion among the viewers, but this my friends, is no table talk. You will be as baffled as the next person. Scratching your head, trying to undo the knot in your mind that’s bent three quarters to nowhere. Leaving you at the end with no value, as if you have wasted your time. With a perfect set up and cast we hope all the chaotic wierdness will come together in the end. Too bad we’re not gifted with an imagination to forget the potential here that has gone awry. 

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